Making Me

I have been struggling for some time to define who I am.... I know I am a wife and a mother...I know I am a daughter of God... But at the end of the day when I have five minutes of peace, who am I. 
I think "oh, this is the time to get all of the things done that I haven't( to be honest they haven't been done because I plain don't what to do them, I think they will magically happen without my help) I find myself watching shows to "get away", but that is what I have been doing the whole time. I avoid doing things all day and then tell myself that I have earned "me time" . Who am I kidding, not myself, I sit and consume ice cream or chocolates because I have "earned them". I know that this makes me feel fat, lonely, and detached, yet I continue to do it.... Well I have had enough of me. I am not going to treat myself to death. 
So, on reflection I have decided to start working out, 3 days for one hour and 2 days for thirty minutes. Now, although I would love to lose weight I am not doing it for that. I am doing it for me, because I have more e energy and feel better when I do. I stop making excuses, and become the me I want to be. So when I sit down at night and want to take time for me, I know I have earned it by doing all I can though out the day to take care of me and my family by fulfilling my responsibilities 

I also will start lowering my sugar intake and limiting sweets.  I took a sugar fast after I had Anna. I did it for a month and found that I didn't have mood swings and I lost 10 lb. when I did it I said I could have honey, agave, cane juice, and cane sugar. I had cravings but found other things to supplement with. I am going to have sugar this time, but only if I put it in...nothing processed. I have a need to reground myself. To be nice to myself and love myself. So, here goes. I will tell you how it is going once a week or so.