It has been a while

So, I have had a bit going on lately. 

I have been preparing for the upcoming Farmers Market with my husband. He is going to sell a game he created and chain mail bracelets, while I am going to sell homemade lotion, foot scrub, toothpaste, and solid perfume in lockets. I made them all and used essential oils in  them. I had to find out about FDA regulations and figure out labels. I also help Derrick with the marketing of his game and marketing of bags to put them in. There was a lot of research that went into this...and money. Here is hoping it all works out. I will keep you posted.

Seth has also been potty training. We have a clock that chimes every half hour so that is when we started to take him. He only tells us a tenth of the time when he has to go, but that is better then whet he was doing before. 

I have started thinking about my  ideas  towards my kids and how it needs to change. I have five of the most amazing kids ever to be born. They all play well with each other and for the most part do not fight. If I were to be honest the main time the fight is when I am already upset over something that has nothing to do with them.so I am going to stop yelling, aka, my favorite sin. You know, the one you want to hold on to to help you feel safe. I will stop. My kids do not need the memories of me heeling at them. I don't what that to be what is there. So I will quit.

 

I use yelling to protect myself...from a two year old...yep a child who is learning about the world around them. A child who learns from me that yelling and making others feel small is the right thing. I have suffered from depression and have used it as a crutch, saying that it is ok to yell because I am depressed. What am I thinking. It is never ok to make anyone feel small because you need to feel in control. Don't you think if I started ushering control I would start feeling it. 

I will let you know how it is going.

Oh, the diet has stopped. I am eating,working out , and taking care of me for me. I can only do my best and not get down when that isn't were I want it to be. I can only do what I can do and that is enough..