A day at a time

So, I received a blessing from Derrick last nigh and was told I would be healed. I am always amazed at my father in heavens love for me. I am feeling much better today.not well enough to want to work out, so I will start Monday. I have decided to take every thing a day at a time. I will make plans and try to do things, but I don't want to feel pressure to do all these things that don't really matter. I was given a blessing once where I was told to do the mundane things. The route thing that we think do not matter. I have found that those things end up mattering the most. So I will make the most of them.

The ways of a two year old

Today I have had a sinus infection, meaning the house was free rain. I felt like I was moving in slow motion, never able to keep up. My sweet Seth wants to help sooo much, but he isn't able. He desired he wanted to paint and spilt about three tablespoons of brown paint all over the rug on our floor. Luckily it is an old rug that we do not care about, and it missed the carpet. We're was I you ask, in the kitchen less than ten feet away. He was with Sean and Meghan, you would think they would notice sooner, but no. Later when getting ready for bed, Patrick came up to tell us there was a mess that he couldn't clean up downstairs....Seth sticks again. This time he dumped a bottle of hand soup on the floor outside my room, more than five feet from the bathroom, not sure way outside my door, but there none the less.
Here's hoping tom arrow I can keep up!

Making Me

I have been struggling for some time to define who I am.... I know I am a wife and a mother...I know I am a daughter of God... But at the end of the day when I have five minutes of peace, who am I. 
I think "oh, this is the time to get all of the things done that I haven't( to be honest they haven't been done because I plain don't what to do them, I think they will magically happen without my help) I find myself watching shows to "get away", but that is what I have been doing the whole time. I avoid doing things all day and then tell myself that I have earned "me time" . Who am I kidding, not myself, I sit and consume ice cream or chocolates because I have "earned them". I know that this makes me feel fat, lonely, and detached, yet I continue to do it.... Well I have had enough of me. I am not going to treat myself to death. 
So, on reflection I have decided to start working out, 3 days for one hour and 2 days for thirty minutes. Now, although I would love to lose weight I am not doing it for that. I am doing it for me, because I have more e energy and feel better when I do. I stop making excuses, and become the me I want to be. So when I sit down at night and want to take time for me, I know I have earned it by doing all I can though out the day to take care of me and my family by fulfilling my responsibilities 

I also will start lowering my sugar intake and limiting sweets.  I took a sugar fast after I had Anna. I did it for a month and found that I didn't have mood swings and I lost 10 lb. when I did it I said I could have honey, agave, cane juice, and cane sugar. I had cravings but found other things to supplement with. I am going to have sugar this time, but only if I put it in...nothing processed. I have a need to reground myself. To be nice to myself and love myself. So, here goes. I will tell you how it is going once a week or so. 

What... I am posting!!!

What... I am posting!!! I know a bit of time has past since I last wrote. I have a hard time sharing what is in my mind and heart to a blank computer screen.

I am so eternally grateful for the power of prayer, the priesthood and promptings we resive. Our Heavenly Father is so amazing. He has given so many tools to get back to him.. I am so thankful for that.

I don't always have the right words or the best timing...I mean well but that isn't always enough. I am sorry to all thoghs I have hurt or offended. I am sorry for pain that I have caused and friendships that have been altered because of it.

I love my savior and know that I can one day live with him again. I love his church and its teachings. I know that the scriptures contain with in them truths that are eternal and essential to our salvation on this earth. I know that Joseph Smith was a true prophet of God and that Tomas S. Monsen is his prophet on the earth today. I am so grateful for the knowledge that I have.

Meghan doesn't start school for another year, so I have started having singing and story time with her, were all we talk about are church related things. As I have started doing this I have felt the spirit in our home and guidance as to what things she needs to learn to be able to understand that challenges she will face.


Until next time....

A little bit of sunshine!!

How could you not be happy waking up to this every morning???
This is my Sunshine!!

Here's to SMILING

I have had so many times the last few weeks that I go over what I have done that day. Knowing that I could do better, and be better. Looking for all the times I could have smiled and didn't. I am wondering if the reason I am doing this is because I am so tiered every night and know that the moment I lay down and my eyes are almost closed one of the kids will need me. I think I am afraid to go the sleep. If you told me that I could sleep more than 2 hours at a time I would laugh in your face...not the nicest thing to do. But I have had no sleep , so your bound to have the irrational me.
I wonder what it is that makes me want to go over what I can fix. I have a new day. New light. New strength and power from the Lord every day I wake up. Some days I know I am going to want to let the house become a danger zone and read all day. But what makes me think that it is ok to do that every day. No more..
I am going to do something new. All the I should have will be forgotten. I am going to do the best I can every day and not beat myself up for what wasn't done, but praise myself for what I did do. I have the power to become anything I want... Do I want to be a i should have or an I did. I will do something for me every day, even if all it is is that I wear cute socks, even if they don't match what I am wearing. tomorrow will be the day I make it. And anything is possible in it. Here's to smiling

Go Away Satan

Yesterday my kids were fighting over who got to lay the V-Smile first... not all that uncommon, But this day I was done with all the fighting. Woo was being loud and screaming "It's My turn first!" to witch PaPa started crying. I came in and told them they couldn't play if they were going to fight, to witch both started crying. I asked who was making the yucky feeling in our house. They said Satan. I asked who wanted us to be happy, Heavenly father. Then I told them that it was there choose who we felt. That Satan could only be here if we let him. Then I told them to tell him to go away, that we didn't want him here. PaPa yelled right away "Go AWAY Satan!!!" Woo was quiet for about a minute. I could see him thinking it though. When it made since he yelled" Go away and don't ever come back!"

I found that the feeling in our house changed that second. When we know what is happening and refuse it to be that way our house can be a peaceful place.